Remembering
by epic-rebellion
Summary: The tragic one year anniversary of Janet Frasier's death comes around and Samantha has major trouble coping with it. rated T just for safety. Sam/Jack? maybe;
1. Painful memories

disclaimer:i don't own anything in here..:(

A/N:PLEASE REVIEW!! IN MEMORY OF JANET FRASIER.

It was the day Samantha Carter had been trying to forget ever existed.  
Today was the one year anniversary or Dr. Janet Frasier's death.  
There weren't a lot of other women on the base so when Sam had met Janet they were friends instantly.

Now in the briefing room she sat waiting with the rest of the SG-1 team for the dreaded announcement that General Hammond was going to make.It took all her strength not to burst into tears right then and there.She didn't want the guys to think that she couldn't handle things like this.She wanted to prove that she was just as strong as them.

The whole room was silent.Sam could feel the tension in the air,but couldn't bring herself to break it.She knew if she said a word she would burst into tears.

Colonel Jack O'Neill had an unreadable expression on his face, while Dr. Daniel Jackson looked as though he was going to be sick. Teal'c had obviously been meditating for hours because he was extremely calm.

Sam heard someone clear their throat and turned to see General Hammond and the rest of the team staring at her. The General continued on.

" I think you all know why i called you here." He paused for a moment to keep his composure." This day, one year ago, our much loved Dr. Janet Frasier died in battle , when hit with a Goul'd staff weapon blast, while saving the life of a young soldier.The-"

Samantha couldn't bear it anymore.

" I'm sorry ,Sir.", she blurted before running out of the room. She ran to her room and threw herself onto her bad. She burst into tears the minute her head hit the pillow.She cried until she was gasping for breath.

_Why did Janet have to die? she was so young!_ That thought brought another waterfall of tears to stain her pillow.

* * *

Back in the briefing room General Hammond looked at the team.

" Well there's no need for me to finish so you are all dismissed." " Thank you, Sir" The guys said at the same time.

Jack said goodbye to everybody before heading off to look for Sam. _Where would Carter be??,_He thought to himself. _should I talk to her or not...maybe not...well actually its my duty as her CO to make sure everyone is looked after and she definitely needs some looking after. _He had seen the pain in her face and the tears she refused to let fall down her face.

He checked her lab and the cafeteria and even the locker rooms but she wasn't there. He went to check her room and knew he found her.

_Carter isn't the type to cry so this must be seriously serious.Well, duh Jack!! She lost her best friend on the base!! _

Samantha hadn't shown any tears after Frasier's death except at the funeral and when she found out, Jack recalled. He hadn't noticed anything strange about her or anything.

Jack raised his hand to knock on her door but realized that she probably wanted to be alone for a bit. He wouldn't want to embarrass her or anything.He would see her at lunch anyways.

* * *

Samantha finally ran out of tears.

She had no clue what had gotten into her.She hadn't cried this much since Janet's death.She lay there trying to think about happy things.

_Lemon pie, Jack's jokes, Daniel's know-it-all-ness , Teal'c's "indeeds",Janets contagious laughter. _The last though caused her to start crying once more. Her sadness was soon topped off with exhaustion and she fell asleep.

* * *

Jack sat in the cafeteria alone. He was getting impatient.

He had been waiting for Sam to show up for 3 hours thinking that she would get hungry.

_OH CRAP!!That does it!! _He got up and went to check on her.He knocked at least 5 times before opening the door.

There she was asleep. Her short hair was everywhere and her eyes were puffed up from crying but , boy, did she ever look like an angel.

Jack took the blanket from the end of the bed and covered her with it. She moved slightly but only to pull the cover up to her chin.

He was about to leave but thought he should at least leave a note. He quickly scribbled one and left it on her nightstand where she would notice it.

With one lt glance in her direction he left closing the door quietly behind him.


	2. Painkillers and Blue Jello

**Disclaimer: unfortunately I don't own anything in here.**

**A/N: I hope you don't mind but i rewrote/ extended this chapter!**

**Thank you to my Reviewer!! :):):) **

**lkhoward88: Yah I'm even getting excited ;) Well I'm glad you like it so far and I'll do my best to keep you hooked.**

Chapter 2

Samantha woke up feeling crazily fuzzy headed,but she didn't remember partying the night before._Ooooooh_. Now she remembered why she had such a headache.

She reached for a tissue from her nightstand when she saw a note lying there. She grabbed it hoping she wasn't in any sort of trouble with the General. Hesitantly she reached for the note, opening it slowly. It read:

_Hey Major Carter,  
When you wake-up report to the cafeteria.That's an order Major.  
- Colonel Jack O'Neill_

The Cafeteria? Sam felt nervous.She must be in big trouble for him to have left a note.

She got up and looked at herself in the floor length mirror.Her clothes were very wrinkled and her hair stuck out more that usual.Her eyes were puffy from crying and her make-up was smudged across her face.

She quickly washed her face and combed through her hair, un-able to do anything about the wrinkled clothing.

She glanced at her watch. 8:30 P.M.?! Nobody would be in the cafeteria at these hours. Samantha shrugged and closed the door behind her and made her way to the cafeteria.

The hallways were almost deserted , except for a few people doing their security rounds.

When she reached the cafeteria she noticed Jack sitting alone at a table waiting for her.Sam slowly made her way to the table struggling to find some means of joy inside of her.She definitely did not want him to think she wasn't able to be joyful for him.

When she reached the table he sensed her presence and looked up from his work.

There above him still standing was the Major looking just as beautiful with puffy eyes and no make-up.

He motioned for her to sit, trying to think of something to say,not wanting to offend her in anyway.  
He peeked at her and saw that her head was down.

"Are you okay, Carter?"

"Okay?"

"You left the meeting and I asumed there was something wrong."

Samantha was silent but he noticed her eyes glistening as they welled up with tears.He decided that it would be best if he changed the subject.

"Want some food? Or better yet ill get you some food."

he got up and headed to the buffet before she could answer. It was sweet of him to care so much but she wished that he would leave her alone. Normally she would jump at any chance for attention from her C.O. but this was the one thing she wanted to do alone.

Jack returned with a tray for each of them. The contents of each were coffee, mashed potatoes, meatloaf, and the last wich happenned to be her favorite, blue Jello.

Samantha picked at her food as Jack dug into his.

She felt sorry for Jack because he had waited for her to come for so long.

"Aren't you going to eat , Carter?"

"Not hungry..."

"You have to eat something or you're not going to be aloud to work."

Samantha was getting pretty ticked off at this point.

"Sir, no offense but that's my problem not yours."

"Carter.." He said in a warning tone.

"Just leave me alone, ok!!"

With that Sam left the cafeteria the tears once again flowing.

Jack started to go after her but changed his mind sitting back down.He looked at her tray and couldn't help smiling.

She had taken her jello with her.

* * *

Samantha finally reached her room.She still couldn't believe she had actually left Jack sitting there alone.Normally she would have been scared of what her C.O. would have said ,but strangely today she just wanted to be by herself with her jello and in her room.

Besides Jack was treating her like a little girl instead of the military woman she really was. It made her so angry sometimes!

She just wanted to sleep.No, that wasn't right.Sam decided she was going out.Where she didn't know she just had to get off base.

Samantha finished her jello,took her jacket,keys and purse, and left forgetting to lock the door behind her.

She went straight to General Hammond's office to ask permission to go off base.

"How are you doing Major?"He asked.

"I'm doing great"She answered lying through her teeth."Could i get a night pass? I'll be back I just need to go out for a couple hours."

"Sure,Major.I'll give you a late night pass meaning you can stay out till midnight at the latest."

"Yes,Sir" Samantha grabbed the pass and saluted before leaving for the elevator.

When she reached her car she sat there for a while trying to figure out what to do.She had a blanket in the back and she could get some food.She would have a one person picnic and then go home for a few hours.

She turned on the engine and drove out of the base.

* * *

Jack decided he would go have a little chat with the General.

Maybe he knew what was up with the Major.

Jack knocked on his door and walked in before even getting permission.Hammond rolled his eyes.That was Jack.Never thought that maybe his General would be in the middle of something important.

"Hello Colonel.Is there something I can do for you?"He asked Jack knowing of course that he wanted something.

"Well I was just wondering if you knew how Carter was handling all this.She was kinda acting strange in the cafeteria."

"She seemed to be handling it quite well.She told me she was doing great.even asked if she could have a pass and go hang out for a little bit."

"Sir,I'm not sure that was a very good idea.You see, she wasn't even eating anything at dinner besides jello and she left without even asking permission."

"Well she came in here only an hour ago.She smiled the whole time and was very polite.I think you are just over-reacting."

Jack was getting frustrated because he knew something wasn't right with Carter's behaviour because he knew her as a person who usually let people know what she was feeling.

"With all due respect sir,I think you might be wrong."

"Well, Colonel, what do you suggest we do about it?"

Jack smiled cause he already had a plan.  
"Sir, may I have a pass? I promise ill bring it back before midnight."Jack answered with a smirk on his face.

"Okay but don't do anything you're going to regret.She isn't just under your command but also mine and I would hate for anything to change that."

"Yes,Sir."With that Jack left with the pass and made his was up the elevators.  
It's a good thing that Jack had been to Sam's house cause that is where he guessed she was.

* * *

Samantha backed into her driveway and turned the engine off.

She really didn't know what she was going to do at home and hoped she found some good painkillers cause her head was really hurting.

She got out of the car and unlocked the door to her house.It was very dusty and the air was thick.She opened up some windows and made her way to her bathroom where she left all her medicines.

She winced when she saw how many dirty clothes were hanging around her bedroom as she walked through it.Her bathroom wasn't so pretty either.

Maybe she could convince the General to let her take a few days or even weeks off.Her house needed it almost more than she did.She opened the cabinet and saw a lot of medicines but no painkillers.Sam slammed the cupboard doors ,when a thought came to mind.

She would walk to the corner to get some.The fresh air would do her head some good.

She left the windows open,because she would only be gone for a little bit.

One thing she did do was lock the door.

Little did she know what was going to happen while she was gone.

**A/N:i hope you guys review.if you like it or not I wanna know.**


	3. Surprises and Nightmeres

**a/n: hope you guys don't mind that I rewrote the last 2 chapters a bit. :) I also deeply apologize for it taking months to update!!**

Jack pulled up to her driveway trying to think of what he was going to say to Sam to explain why he was here.

He got out of the car and walked up to her front door, and rang the doorbell.

No answer.

He tried the door handle and was surprised to see that it was unlocked. He walked all over the house and it looked as though somebody had went through everything.The bedroom was destroyed and everything was scattered.

The windows were broken in the basement and he felt his stomach lurch.

Samantha had been robbed.

Jack ran outside and grabbed his cell, dialing 911.

"We have a robbery at 32238 Snow Ave. Bring an ambulance just in case."

Jack parked his car in front of the house and got out of the car to try and call the General.Before he could even dial the number he saw a certian person coming down the sidewalk staggering. He looked closer and noticed it was Sam and she wasn't in very good shape.Boy was he glad he had ordered that ambulance.

"Major Carter!" He yelled walking up to her cautiously.

Samantha looked up."Sir?"

"What the heck happened to you Carter!?"

"I...I...I don't really know! I went to the store to get piankillers and on the way there was a truck loaded with stuff and the men in it were really big.They came up to me demanding who I was.They tried to get me in the truck but I used my Level 3 martial arts training on them and they left." She answered looking slightly confused.

"Well it looks like they still got thier hands on you! Your pants and shirts are ripped and you face has blood on it!" He said coming up to her and wiping off the blood.

Samantha winced and pulled away still a little bit mad at her C.O. for treating her like a baby."Why are you here! I can take care of myself!"

Jack tried to hide the pain in his eyes as he replied." I'm sure you can but something is wrong with you.We all know that!"

"Nothing's wrong with me and maybe just maybe you all should back off and let me live my life!" She basically screamed at him.

Just then the ambulance and police came and he had no time to reply.

* * *

After the police investigated they were glad to report that not too many things were stolen but it would be best if Sam lived elsewhere till they caught these people, seeing as they might be second-time offenders.They asked Jack and Sam many questions and then they left.

The paramedics checked all of Samantha's bones and wounds and made sure that everything was cleaned properly in order to avoid infection.Soon they also left leaving Samantha and Jack alone in the torn up living room.All that was left in that room was the couches and one lamp. Why they hadn't stolen them nobody knew but Samanthat considering she knew how loaded the car was.

"So..." Jack said trying to break the awkward silence.

"What do you want from me Sir?"

He flinched at the anger and disapointment in her voice."I'm just wondering where you'll be staying now."

"Probably at the base even though everyone is clearing out for the summer and won't be back till fall."

What she said was true.There were only a couple more days of work left and then there would be no readon to stay at the base.The General was also leaving and had ordered everyone there to take a one month break, meaning they had to leave.

She couldn't think of anyone she could go to seeing as how her family all lived in other states and she just wanted to have a month to her self.Finally Jack spoke up.

"Why don't you stay at my place? I have a whole house to myself and It's not really a bother to me to stay."

_Yah so that you can keep an eye on me. _She thought to herself but she answered, "I guess I don't really have a choice.I sure don't want to stay here."

"Good. Go get your things and I'll park the car in the driveway." Jack said smiling with satisfaction.

* * *

Samantha soon had all her clothing and everything else pack and she reluctantly got into the veichle.

The drive was silent. When they finally got to the house Samantha noticed how beautiful the house was with the little white picket fence and all.Not that she would tell that to Jack.The last thing she needed was him to get an ego yet.Jack helped Sam with her things and showed her to her room.

Soon her things were unpacked and she had konked out on the bed with her jacket and shoes still on.

Jack looked at her and wondered how such a fiesty woman could be so beautiful in her sleep. He put her legs onto the bed and took her shoes off. He grapped a blanket from inside the closet and covered her with it.He glanced at her one more time before closing the door and shutting off the light.

* * *

Jack woke up with a start when she heard a blood curling scream.He grabbed his pistol and ran to Samantha's room ready for anything.He slowly opened the door and peeked in.

Samantha was thrashing around in her bed and she was drenched in tears and sweat. He quickly rushed to her and shook her trying to wake her. She finally awoke and when she saw him the tears started anew. Jack held her and rocked her back and forth, whispering soothing words to her. Soon she was asleep agian and he tucked her in again.

Back in his own bed he began to wonder if her problem was a little deeper that just sadness. _Somebody dosn't just have horrible nightmeres and still be okay. If only I could get her to open up to me._

**Hope you guys like it!! tell me what you think! got any ideas? Review!!**


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